God is Not Impressed

Just a few thoughtful quotes from Oswald Chambers from the past week:

"Christian work may be a means of evading the soul's concentration on Jesus Christ."

"It is not service that matters, but intense spiritual reality, expecting Jesus Christ at every turn."

Busy? Oh boy! Was I busy!

I was one who made serving Christ everything - instead of knowing Christ. Having been in some form of "ministry" since age 10, it was so close to me constantly I never got a chance to step back and take a broader look at my life and what mattered. I confused growth in ministry with growth in characer. Now that I am away from ministry, I have discovered God like I could never experience when I was in the middle of the cloud of ministry dust I was stirring up in the middle of my frantic hurried hurricane of service for God.

"Growth in grace is measured not by the fact that you have not gone back, but that yo have an insight into where you are spiritually; you have heard God say, "Come up higher," not to you personally, but to the insight of your character."

I lived to please people and impress God. People may have been pleased for awhile, but God was not impressed.

While I may have impressed some people along the way with my ministry, that was never my intent. But I did want to impress God and make Him glad I was on His team. When people used to ask me how I did "so much," I am embarrassed now to say that I had answers. I even had a workshop I would teach on how to organize and manage a multi-faceted ministry. I dicussed putting "First Things First," delegating, team building, choosing the best, etc. All things I sincerely tried to do. I would tell the story (familiar to time managment junkies) of the clear container and the rocks... you'd better put the big rocks (important things) in first, or there won't be time for the small rocks, gravel, sand and water. So I DID put the big things in first, I just had so many of them, and they were so perfectly cubed in shape, that once in there was nearly no room for ANY gravel or sand or water... so I had the "big things" only, and ended up missing the Biggest Thing - intimacy with God and Family. And the container finally broke.

Now there is only one Person I aim to please - and a close second, my wife. HE must be #1, but not to impress, but to please, and He isn't pleased by work or service or ministry, He is pleased when I am in relationship to Him.

Others? Paul said to do whatever you can, as far as it depends on you, to live in peace with everyone, but there is a limit in what is possible. In the end, keep your focus on Jesus. Oswald warns, "Trust no one, not even the finest saint who ever walked this earth, ignore him, if he hinders your sight of Jesus Christ."

But have grace, mercy, gentleness and forgiveness. Give that which you wish to recieve, and even if you don't receive it, it does not matter. God has given it generously.

Seek Jesus today. Close the calendar, put the computer to sleep, and seek God. He's closer than you may think! Then serve Him with joy, and whistle while you work. (or play your iPod if you can't whistle!)

Encouragement Via Old Calendars

Sometimes God sends you just what you need from a surprising source. Today my wife and I were cleaning out a storage closet in our basement and among the lost, forgotten, sentimental, outdated, and maybe-we'll-need-thing-someday stuff, was an old Mary Engelbreit calendar. Granted, Mary Engelbreit stuff is "chick stuff," but the sayings on her paintings are often quite simple and deep at the same time. I miss the Mary Engelbreit store at Woodfield Mall because I was always able to find a present for my wife for any occasion. Shopping for her takes more effort now, I used to just buy anything in that store and I was a success!

Anyway, my wife was holding on to several old Mary Engelbreit calendars with the idea of framing some of the artwork someday, but in our frenzy of "if in doubt, throw it out" cleaning today, she finally decided to part with these old calendars. Much to her surprise, on their way to the garbage can, it was ME who got hooked on them, and even got teared up over one of them. So, like the sap that I am, I am now saving the calendar, and have scanned my three favorites to post here, hopefully to encourage you as well:

As Paul said, "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:13-14

It is often said not to let success go to your head, but it is equally important not to let failure go to your heart. God still loves you and He will still stand by you, even when others won't. The most important opinion, and the only one you should concern yourself with, is God's opinion of you. If God is for you, and you are walking with God, nothing else matters. Be bold and stand tall.

As Jahaziel son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattaniah said, "You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you... Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you." (2 Chronicles 20:17)

But then, this was my favorite:

I concern myself often with a great many things, and worry about the opinions and thoughts of others toward me, but there is one certain little person in my life, and he thinks I'm ok, and that makes me ok with me too. He is my legacy. Not anything I do in service for God.

Me and My Buddy.

NO MORE Making Time for Family

I've made a decision, and by God's grace and power, I'm sticking to it. Are you ready?

Here it is:

Never again am I going to make time for my family!

That's right. I am DONE making time for my family. No more. Never Again. I Quit. I've spent over ten years making time for my wife, and then when I became a dad I started making time for my son too. And I was totally wrong to do so! I have learned my lesson, and have made a personal committment to never ever again make time for either of them.

Have I lost my mind? No, quite to the contrary - I have finally found it! While I have always claimed to put family first - my proof was in all the time I "made" for them. The days off, the dates, the dinners, the vacations, the coming home for a meal, the night time feedings and play time on the floor... all the things I took a break from ministry to do. What?!?!? Did you just hear the insanity in that last sentence?! The "break from ministry" I took to "make" time for my family? I'm ashamed to admit it, but I don't think I am alone, so I am taking the risk of being honest and hoping I am not alone in my former illness. I suspect there are many others that still have it, and are as blind to the symptoms as I was. The illness is called Ministryitis, or more accurately diagnosed, it is closer to Significancia. It is a condition where one finds their significance primarily in their service to God and therefore lives to serve God from the moment they arise in the morning until the time they collapse into their bed exhausted at night. They are serving God with passion, and energy, and creativity, and zeal, and sincerity, and with every good intention to please God and lead others to Him... but they fail to see that God called them FIRST to simply BE a child of His, and secondly to BE a husband, or wife, or parent to the children in their home. There ought not be ANY "carving out of time for family." Family IS your life. Ministry is just something you do for God. Don't ever let it become your life. Or the results can be catostrophic. The greatest sigfificance you can have in God's eyes is by being faithful to the primary relationships He has given you.... your family.

Therefore my new commitment is this:

Never again am I going to make time for my family,
I will instead make time for ministry.

and then I will go home to where my life truly rests. Live for God, Love your Family, and if time permits, make some time for ministry too!

Friends Are the Ones Around When it Rains

Friends Are the Ones Around When it Rains

In high school we got sick of the M. Smith song, "Friends are friends forever." Real life teaches you it isn't true. Those you thought were friends for years can forget you and even turn on you if you don't live up to their expectations. And it hurts.

I used to use the teaching tool: A true friend C.A.R.E.S. when teaching kids:

C = challenges you to be a better person
A = accepts you just the way you are, they don't reject you when you mess up
R = respects you, they don't do things to hurt or damage you, they don't 'get even'
E = encourages you - they are there when you need them most
S = sticks with you, no matter what

A genuine friend who was in town this week said something that I wanted to post here:

"A friend is someone who runs in
when everyone else is running out."

I just wanted to say thank you to those who have been a genuine friend to me in the past several months... there have been many, and often not the ones I would have expected. God has known just who to send along at just the right moment. Thank you.

I also want to say I'm sorry to those who I have not been a good friend to; and there are many. I was a very fast-moving, on-the-go, things-to-do, places-to-go, ministry-to-get-to guy who had many friends... but few deep friendships. I have been discovering so much about friendships and what it means, and what it takes, to develop the ones that really count. It really doesn't matter how many people "like" you - what we need are people who love us... unconditionally. In what I thought was "ministry zeal" I blew right past many potential friends. I'm sorry.

Second to last, I want to say, if you were a friend who has been out of touch for awhile, perhaps since I left my church, I miss you. Don't assume there are people swarming around my family in love and support - there isn't - and don't assume I'm off onto my "new life" and don't miss or need you, I do. It is very hard to leave behind eight years of fun, and friendships and fellowship and simply "move on." Part of life is moving on, but I would like friends to be friends forever. God has been so gracious and has shown my family his mercies and grace in many ways in the past months... but we are really missing the friendships that were a part of our daily life. We miss you.

Lastly, and finally, I want to say if you ever find yourself in a place in life, or situation, or struggle or temptation or trial or time where you think there is no one you can turn to or tell - I know that feeling - I've lived there, and I stayed there for tooooo long, it' isn't true. You have a friend. Of course, there is Jesus! But there is someone else - you just need the courage to take that step of faith and turn to a friend and trust them. Yes, there is a chance the friendship will disappoint you, the trust may not be mutual, there is a good chance they may judge you, or reject you, or cast you off, BUT you will still have done the right thing - for you will find yourself on the path of resolution or restoration or refinement by getting your sturuggle out from being hidden in your heart, and into the open where it can be dealt with.

There is the age-old saying that I've taught kids many times, "If you want good friends, you must BE a good friend." I am discovering just how painfully true this really is. I find myself missing and wanting good friends, and discovering just now much I failed as a friend to others. Something I am working to change in my new and continuing friendships.

I invite you... join me in the effort of developing genuine deep friendships, the type that take time and trust. There will come a time when you will need them, and more importantly, they will need you. I hope no one who reads this will ever find themselves in a place where they desperately need genuine friends, and find they aren't there.

If you do, you can always call me, whoever you are. I am committed with a new zeal to be the type of friend I wished I had had more of this past year.

The Love of God is Overwhelming

Today I was amazed that my devotional reading was perfectly exactly what I needed today. Then, as I shared it with my wife, she noticed that I was actually off by a day... I'm not sure when I missed a day and as I expressed my disappointment that I "goofed" somehow and got off in my Oswald Chambers Journal, my wife pointed out, that if today's message was exactly what I needed, then God actually had me get off somehow so that I would "accidently" read today's today, instead of when I supposed to. All that to say, even in our mundane mistakes, God is at work.

Today was a difficult day in my private journey as a pilgrim of Christ. I'll leave it at that as far as details go, but enough to say, of all the difficult days I may experience in life, today will always be one of the most difficult I ever had to face. And yet God's peace was evident and his mercy flowed freely and his grace was abundant.

My passage today (accidently) was "in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." (Romans 8:37)

I'd like to share what Oswalk Chambers wrote "today" since I underlined the entire thing anyway in my journal...

Paul is speaking of the things that might seem likely to separate or wedge in between the saint and the love of God; but the remarkable thing is that nothing can wedge between the love of God and the saint. These things can and do come in between devotional exercises of the soul and God and separate individual life from God; but none of them is able to wedge in between the love of God and the soul of the saint. The bedrock of our Christian faith is the unmerited, fathomless marvel of the love of God exhibited on the Cross of Calvary, a love we never can and never shall merit. Paul says this is the reason we are more than conquerors in all these things, super-victors, with a joy we would not have but for the very things which look as if they are going to overwelm us. The surf that distresses the ordinary swimmer produces in the surf-rider the super-joy of going clean through it. Apply that to our own circumstances, these very things - tribulation, distress, persecution, produce in us the super-joy; they are not things to fight. We are more than conquerors through Him in all these things, not in spite of them, but in the midst of them. The saint never knows the joy of the Lord in spite of tribulation, but because of it - 'I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation,' says Paul. Undaunted radiance is not built on anything passing, but on the love of God that nothing can alter. The experiences of life, terrible or monotonous, are impotent to touch the love of God, which is in Christ our Lord.

I wrote in the margin, "Be overwhelmed by nothing other than the love of God."

Life is precious and all too short. And we so easily miss what matters most, and as I have learned this past year, one of the biggest threats to our spiritual life is not sin, but ministry. Ministry that overruns our intimacy with God and family. Hidden behind a passion for ministry can be a desire to please God, impress God, and matter to God... to somehow be worthy of his love, his salvation, and the life and ministry He has blessed us with. Sure, salvation was free, but I want to be worthy of it after the fact, since I know just how unworthy I truly am. And so we set out with DO lots for God, when all he wants, all He died for, was US, not anything we can do for Him. It doesn't mean that our ministry isn't sincere, effective, or fruitful, it is just that it is too much and overshadows what is more important. Sure, we try to "make time for God" and "make time for family" - but ministry is what drives us from morning to night. It ought to be that the most important thing daily is our relationship with God and our family, and then we "make time" for service to God. I know I had it backwards, and I doubt I am alone in that, and the result was catastrophic when I finally reached a breaking point.

Here is what I was supposed to read today... and it was fitting as well:

No one is ever united with Jesus Christ until he is willing to relinquish, not sin only, but his whole way of looking at things. To be born from above of the Spirit of God means that we must let go before we lay hold, and in the first stages it is the relinquishing of all pretense. What our Lord wants us to present to Him is not goodness, nor honesty, nor endeavour (ministry service).... He wants us to relinquish all pretense of being anyting, all claim of being worthy of God's consideration. Am I willing to relinquish everything and to be identified only with the death of Jesus Chirst?

It is easy to focus on sin in our world, and the more sensational the sin, the better! But it is much harder to focus on the ill-effects of hyper-achieving ministry, and how ministry has a habit of breaking people who are blind to the effect ministry can have when it is out of balance. There is a reason that the average length of a minister's career is only a few years... ministry, as "Godly" as it is, can be a destroyer of saints who are blindsided by the effects of over zealous ministry, despite how sincerely motivated it may be. We are serving God! People are going to hell! There is no time for anything else... including our intimate walk with God. We can be so busy serving God, that too often sincere saints don't even see the eroding effect on their spiritual life and family life.

One of the many amazing things I have learned in the past year as I have slowed waaaaaay down is that the world we live in is much more broken then I ever knew. Oh, I knew that those without Christ live broken and huring lives as a result of their sin, and that compelled me and motivated me to do all that I could to reach them with the Gospel, and I focused on kids because if we can reach them before it is too late, we can save them so much pain and agony... what I was blind to was how much pain and hurt and brokeness exists in the body of Christ. I was moving too fast in the ministry express lane to notice. But as I have met with friends and people over the past year to share with them my own brokeness and the lessons I am learning, so many open up to me and share their own brokeness, things they would have never told me before... because I was one of the naive who was not aware of the way things truly are. My transparency has opened up a whole new world where Christ is the helper, healer, and restorer of so many brothers and sisters in Christ who I assumed had it all together, as they did of me. I have learned that the Church is a place where people are scared to be open and honest about real life struggles, because real life is too shocking for the Church to handle and usually only judgement results or rejection, instead of grace and acceptance. A professional counselor told me recently that he believes the center of grace has moved from the pastor's office to the counselors office because too many pastors today can't handle the realities of sin and brokeness, and in response they often judge or cast away those they should be helping. They are shocked by sin, though they shouldn't be. So people turn to counselors, the only ones they can truly trust because they are legally bound to be confidential and trust worthy. How sad. I am grateful we have counselors, and that there is a safe place available for those who recognize they need help... but for an hourly fee? What happened to the body of Christ?

Let me encourage you to open your eyes to the world around you. Seek genuine friendships where you can be real and open about your own struggles, and be one of the rare few who is open to listen, accept, forgive and offer grace and mercy to the hurting around you. Odds are, there are some people in your life you are assuming are "fine" when they are carrying deep personal pain and hurt and believe there is no one who cares or that they can trust to talk to or who will truly walk with them. The Church talks much about Christ being a friend to sinners, but we are to be friends of sinners too. Not just pass the buck to Jesus. We are to BE Jesus to the hurting around us, and its not just our unsaved neighbors who are hurting and struggling, it is the people in the pews around us on Sunday too. In fact, they are probably hurting more, because they are sincerely trying to live for God, but failing or faultering.

I used to look for those who could be examples to me... who had it together and who I could model my life after... and I hoped I too could be that for others... now I'd rather fellowship with other failures... those who can see their short-comings and understand that only through Christ can we have any hope of not only being conquerors, but Praise God, we can be MORE than conquerors through Christ who loves us with an overwhelming love.

If you are overwhelmed... be overwhelmed instead by God's love for you.
If you are not... (that's ok) open your eyes, someone nearby you is, and probably not who you expect. Be an encourager for them! Be a real friend who is ok with them being real. When your turn comes (and Jesus promised tribulation!) you will have a friend in return.

If you are a failure.. welcome to the club! The Church isn't supposed to be a country club for those who are doing "OK" and living in victory, it supposed to be a place where sinners are welcome. And you and I are invited!

The defeated fisherman

It must have been a dark and depressing time in his life. He had dishonored Christ. He had disappointed himself and others. His world had fallen apart and his ministry was now gone. There was nothing left, he thought, so he simply went back to fishing. He thought he was done, but God thought He had only begun.

His name was Peter, and he is my hero.

He was the one who had responded to Jesus' prophesy of his own death, by boldly declaring, "Even if everyone else is ashamed of you when things fall to pieces, I won't be!" and even after Jesus then predicted his sin, Peter blurted out, "Even if I have to die with you I will never deny you." (Mark 14, the Message)

As Gordon MacDonald writes in Rebuilding Your Broken World, "you are not most likely to fall where you think you are weakest, but where you think you are strongest."

Peter's weakness was not temptation, or fear of consequences... these ultimately are not enough to hold off sin... it was a lack of ability to keep with Jesus in prayer and fellowship. In the same chapter where he makes these bold claims of loyalty to Jesus, in fact, only verses later in Mark 14 (perhaps for a reason), we find Jesus rebuing a sleeping Peter:

"Simon, you went to sleep on me? Can't you stick it out with me a single hour? Stay alert, be in prayer, so you don't enter the danger zone without even knowing it. Don't be naive. Part of you is eager, ready for anything in God; but another part is as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire." (The Message)

Peter was all talk, and all good intentions, and often the most zealous in following Jesus (he's the only one who boldly left the boat and walked on water for a bit! Sure, he sank when his faith wavored, but everyone else just watched from the boat. At least his faith got him wet!)

But he didn't have the abiding prayerful, watchful relationship which can stand the difficult times. And he fell. He denied Christ when it mattered most - three times in fact. There are many ways we can fall, but denying Christ in His darkest hour has got to top of the list.

And what I find so interesting about Peter is that there is no record of him repenting, confessing, or going through any process to be 'restored' - he simply left thinking it was over, but God pursued him and not only restored him, but established His Church on him. Wow. Like David and Paul who had fallen hard and far, even committing murder, God said, "there is a man I can use, for his heart is mine" and put them back to work.

Peter was decieved about himself, as we often are. As I know I have been. Oswald Chambers writes, "Unless we get hurt right out of every deeption about ourselves, the word of God is not having its way with us. The word of God hurts like no sin can ever hurt, because sin blunts feeling. The question of the Lord intensifies feeling until to be hurt by Jesus is the most exquisite hurt conceivable."

Have you ever been hurt by Jesus? Hurt in the sense that He shows you and teaches you things about yourself that no one else ever could? Hurt that, as King David realized, only against Him have you sinned? Hurt realizing that all around you that hurts is nothing compared to the separation our sin causes between us and Him? The hurt when Jesus shows you clearly, not only what you have done, but also that he still loves you and wants you back? The hurt when He says, "I know, but will you follow me anyway?" The hurt when He still says, "Do you love me?" and you thought that your love was so obvious, how could He have to ask?!?

Oswald writes, "There is no possibility of being sentimental with the Lord's question; you cannot say nice things when the Lord speaks directly to you, the hurt is too terrific.... but the point of the hurt is the great part of revelation."

Jesus knows you better than anyone, and He still loves you and still wants you back.

In John 21 we find the story of Peter's restoration, first to relationship to Jesus, and then to ministry. Three times Jesus asks Peter if he loves him. On the third question, Peter is crushed. But he starts to awake to what is happening. As Oswald describes in another place, "Peter was awakening to the fact that in the real center of his personal life he was devoted to Jesus, and he began to see what the patient questioning meant. There was not the slightest of delusion left in Peter's mind, he never could be deluded again. There was no room for passionate utterance (as before), no room for exhilaration or sentiment. It was a revelation to him to realize how much he did love the Lord, and with amazement he said, 'Lord, thou knowest all things.' Peter began to see how much he did love Jesus, but he did not say, 'Look at this or that to confirm it.' "

Peter used to be about proving his love and devotion to Christ. I, too, once lived that way. But Peter and I have learned the hard way, that there is no need to "prove" ourselves or our devotion to Jesus (or to anyone else for that matter). No amount of service can convince Him, it is silly and obsurd to even try. Jesus knows our heart - and our heart is ALL HE WANTS.

In conclusion, Oswald writes, "Rarely, but probably at least once in life, He will get us into a corner where He will hurt us with His undeviating questions, and we will realize that we do love Him far more deeply than any profession can ever show."

Please, as one who has been in that corner, and is still sitting at the fire having breakfast with Jesus, let me be another voice urging you to give up trying to demonstrate your love or dedication or committment to Christ or his "Cause," and forget about whether you get everything on your "to do" lists done. Give up trying to impress Him, and simply love Jesus.

And Jesus will finally be pleased.