Are You Listening?

For those of you who know me personally, you might know that I am deaf in my left ear. Having 50% of the hearing capacity of others is the least of my troubles with this handicap. (In fact, is a blessing in children's ministry as the kids are only 50% as loud to me as they are to others in the room!) My biggest struggles are in directional hearing and in getting my attention in the first place.

God gave most people two ears in order for the brain to calculate the direction of the source of sound, and the shape of the ears warps the sound so that a sound directly behind is distinguished from a sound directly ahead, of which sound waves enter the brain at the exact same moment. All other sounds arrive separately to the brain, where you smart noggin' reassembles the sound into one while determining the direction of the source. Sounds great! But for me, I hear, but I have no idea where the sound is coming from. Yup, no stereo for me. The concept is like colors to a blind person. I can explain it, but have never truly experienced it. It also means when I hear things (such as a siren when driving!) I have to look around and locate the source visually. (FYI, contray to making me a dangerous person to ride with, studies have shown that people who are deaf in one ear are 80% less likely to get in an accident as they are much more observant drivers and actually use their mirrors constantly while driving.) Oh, the stories I can tell about being deaf in one ear, such as lunchtime in grade school where kids would call my name and duck to watch me looking all over the room for who said my name, oblivious to which direction to look.

But the other downside of being deaf, is that you learn to filter out all unwanted noise and focus only on the sound you need, meaning that often in my life I've been confronted for ignoring people, or not returning a "hello" or being too wrapped up in myself to hear others. Perhaps you've seen the classic button, "I'm not deaf, I'm ignoring you?" Well, I'v ealways wanted to make one that says, "I'm not ignoring you, I'm deaf!" The reality is, I don't hear much unless I am focused on it, but as my parents learned (and my wife can attest) if I am focused, I can hear even whispers about me from the other room! (My poor parents thought they could discuss Christmas presents safely in another room.) :)

So how do I get around this? I have to tell people that if they want to talk to me and have me actually listening, they need to use my NAME first. Instead of, "Can you go get such and such, Karl" (to which I turn and say, "Yes?" and am confronted with their groan) they need to say, "Karl, can you go get such and such" and I will happily go get them such and such and a little of the other as well.

My point? (yes, there is always a point!)

I have discovered that I am spiritually deaf in one of my spiritual ears as well. And I see the results in the same two ways. First of all, hearing God's voice is a foreign concept to me - like colors to a blind man - I am told that God speaks to me, but I am learning what that means. Physically, to get a taste of stereo, I have to turn my head around to get a taste of the sounds coming from different places. I do have a Bose Surround Sound System in my basement theater, but I bought it for the volume, and so others who watch movies with me could enjoy the stereo. Spiritually, I tend to focus on volume too... even as I lead others to enjoy God's stereo. I want God to tell me many great things, to give me huge spiritual insights, to 'crank up' the volume of my spiritual life... but I am learning that I must develop the skill of hearing his still small voice, the subtle suggestions he wants to make throughout the day to me.

The other effect of my spiritual deafness is focus. I get so focused on all that I need to do, that I don't hear God speaking to me. He too, has to get my attention somehow... and oh, does He know how to do that! But ah, how much better it is when I give Him my attention first!

Little Samual said, "Speak, Lord, for your servant listens," (I Samuel 3:10) but only after God had to call him several times! I too have missed his voice many times. Not because I was sinking in the murkiness of sin, but because I was so busy serving him, trying to impress him with my work, that I rarely STOPPED to LISTEN to Him, and to say, "Speak, Lord, for your servant listens."

Oswald Chambers writes today, "The destiny of my spiritual life is such identification with Jesus Christ that I always hear God, and I know that God always hears me (John 11:41).
If I am united with Jesus Christ, I hear God, by the devotion of hearing all the time." Oh, how i want that! To not to spiritually deaf in one ear! He continues, "What hinders me from hearing is that I am taken up with other things..... I am devotyed to things, to service, to convictions, and God may say what He likes, but I do not hear him."

Wow. So devoted to GOOD things that I miss hearing what GOD wants to say to me? But I have lots of memories of times God spoke to me! I have had great times of prayer, and personal spiritual retreats where God spoke clearly to me, but Oswald nailed me with this final thought, "If I have not cultivated this devotion of hearing, I can only hear God's voice at certain times, at other times I am taken up with things - things which I say I must do, and I become deaf to Him."

Dear God, let me HEAR you today. Not during a profound moment in my quiet time, but throughout the day, let me hear your voice. Open my spiritual ears to your subtle nuggings to speak, call or email that certain person, say that word to those who cross my path, to notice that bit of your magesty in creation, to let that annoying little irritation go, to see that little thing I can do to bless my wife, or show love to my child, to forgive those who hurt me, to release that grudge, to respond with gentleness or kindness, to be honest when my instinct is to make myself look better, to be the hands and voice and feet of Jesus throughout my day. Nothing huge or dramatic may happen other than that at the end of the day, I can say I have walked with You, if only for one day. Then help me do the same tomorrow. In Jesus Name, Amen.