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Tuesday, May 17, 2005

A Jedi with a Shepherds Heart...



The hills as you drive to beautiful Corvalis, Oregon are filled with sheep lazily grazing on wide open green pastures. Counting the sheep would have been a pointless effort, as there were too many and constantly moving. Just a few hours from the coast of Oregon, it is a beautiful place to live and minister, and the sight of sheep on the way in was fitting, as we were on our way to meet a young father and pastor with a true shepherd's heart.


Strong in the Force this Children's Pastor is...


Henry and his Padawan Learner...

After church at Kings Circle (See Kings Circle Gallery) we headed out to lunch at my favorite restaurant that is now sadly missing in Chicago...


The best former Chicago restaurant in Chicago.

Allow me to rant: The busiest restaurant at our local mall in Chicago went 'out of business' due only to upper management mistakes. Soon all the other Baja Fresh's in Chicagoland started to disappear, and rumor is that they are pulling out of the MidWest. Dumb. Why would a popular busy highly profitable restaurant close? I'd like to say to Baja Fresh's Leadership: "I find your lack of vision disturbing."


A truly blessed boy to have Baja Fresh nearby, but I digress....

Anyway (thanks for letting me vent there, I feel much better now), after our delicious lunch at the wonderful Baja Fresh (which did I mention left Chicago and was my favorite place to eat? I did? Did I mention I had a VIP card and got my soda FREE whenever I ate there? No? Did I mention that they served Mountain Dew?!?!?!?)


Contemplating the Mysteries of Children's Ministry

We then went to a beautiful park along a river and while the kids and wives went off to walk and play, Henry and I settled ourselves into a picnic table to discuss the mysteries of children's ministry. I could visit with Henry for hours, I'm bummed he is not closer to Chicago.

Henry is in his 5th year at Kings Circle, though his experience in children’s ministry goes back even further having been a volunteer for many years. (His wife, Erin, has been a paid children’s director herself, though being a mom of three and partner to Henry is her joy now) The first thing he noticed was the difference between paid leadership vs. volunteer leadership. While he appreciated that a higher value was now placed on his position, as could be expected, the expectations were suddenly higher as well. Henry learned that building relationships is key to success. He formed a leadership team right away and tries to find out personally how his team members are doing. They meet once a month, playing a game and visiting before they get down to business. At least once a year he plans an outing such as going bowling together.

When asked what was one of the hardest lessons he has learned, Henry shared a lesson that is common to those of us in ministry, and something I’m not sure we ever master: the constant challenge to not be starting too many things. Henry, like many of us got over his head in ministry quickly due to his high passion and energy for ministry. Through the challenging of Godly leaders, he was encouraged to only do what he can do well. He said we need to remember that often we get trapped into attempting too much. We need to remember that we were hired to be a children's pastor first, everything else is second. He recommended a book called, The Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards. (Google it for more info) We need to choose between good things vs. what God is calling you to do. His advice: Don't neglect your primary call - to your kids and your church.

My favorite topic of conversation with Henry had to do with what we see as the future of children’s ministry. Henry has been observing children’s ministries for over thirteen years from volunteering in both a mega church and a small church to now serving full time in a mid-sized church. He sees what he described as two paths that churches seem to be heading down.

The first he finds disconcerting. Due to the recent notoriety of children’s ministry, (due to CPC and conference growth, Barna’s book, etc.) many churches are putting LOTS of money into environments - but Henry’s not sure that is the best strategy, not if it means child-friendly facilities over building relationships with kids and ministering to them on an individual basis. He commented that at many church-hosted conferences all people seem to talk about is how they wish they had this-and-that equipment or facilities and he doesn’t hear as much discussion of ministry strategy and philosophy as though an awesome learning environment equals a great ministry. He was careful to assure that a fun, kid-friendly environment is ok, even preferred, but it shouldn’t be the ultimate goal of a children’s ministry. In the end, it isn’t needed, relationships are. Look what Jesus accomplished with NO equipment or facilities!

The other trend Henry sees is to make children’s ministry like it used to be before there even was children's ministry: more parents are wanting more time with their kids, wanting to learn with their kids. Many parents today were latch-key kids and they don't want that for their own children. They want to be there for their kids. They want the ‘good old days’ but redesigned within today’s context. Henry is concerned that with all the new high-tech strategies in children’s ministry, there is no sense of liturgy or the sacred - kids are creating their own culture, isolated from the larger group of the church.

Some of the practical things Henry does to partner with parents is to do a family service about once a month - more than kids attending, but being involved and participating. He also tries to share worship songs with worship pastor, so they know some of the songs the adults sing, and visa versa. He also has pastor/parent meetings. Instead of asking the parents to help him with his ministry, he asks how he can help them in their efforts to parent. He’d like to be one of the first people parents think of when they need help.

One of the many things we agreed on is that there is a danger side to the new ‘popularity’ of children’s ministry: where CM becomes just yet another church growth strategy. Children’s Ministry is not important because it draws parents and families - it is important because KIDS need Christ. When children’s ministry is presented as being important because a quality children’s ministry draws families, ironically it devalues children by reducing them to mere bait used to catch the ‘real value’ - the adults they bring with them. Does a quality children’s ministry draw parents/adults? Yes! And praise God. But that is not the purpose or the greatest value of a quality children’s ministry. Be leery of promotions for children’s ministry that ultimately are just using kids as bait. Ministering to kids is not the latest hip church growth strategy - it is essential because KIDS need Christ, and are the ripest field with longest and strongest results.

Henry's passion for kids, and faithfulness to loving and leading them as individuals is evident in the feedback from the youth pastor who is impressed with the spiritual depth of the kids who learned under Henry, the spirit of their worship that I observed, and the countenance and attitudes of the kids I met and especially Henry and Erin's own children. As Yoda said, "Church size matters not." One of my favorite quotes from Henry (that is featured in the quote box on Kidology.org) is "You don't have to be at a mega-church to be a mega children's pastor."

So to all you MEGA CHILDREN'S PASTORS out there: Keep on keeping on!


The Zonios: They may be listed in the Z's, but they are on my A-list of CPs!!

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4 Comments:

At 9:17 PM, May 21, 2005, PastorT said...

Henry sounds like my kind of guy - wish i could have met him too.

 
At 9:18 PM, May 21, 2005, jediman said...

wow, Henry sounds like an amazing pastor - i wish he lived closer to me.

 
At 9:18 PM, May 21, 2005, wannabe-henry said...

What the world needs is more pastors like Henry Zonio - you are DA MAN HENRY!!

 
At 7:55 PM, May 28, 2005, Anonymous said...

Hey! cool! I live like 2 miles from there!

 

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