The Growing Edge

Got Building Plans?

2007-05-12T07:18:00.000-07:00

Got some Kingdom Building Plans?

OC writes, "These are days of tremendous enterprises, days when we are trying to work for God, and therein lies the snare. Profoundly speaking, we can never work for God."

Out of deep and sincere devotion to God we can make great effort to work for God, to assist Him in building the Kingdom, but our efforts are like a little boy with a toy hammer banging on the side of a sky scrapper. We may feel really powerful and important, but our efforts are silliness compared what God is doing and has already done. And to think that we can DO anything, is so wrong. "The men and women He is going to use in His mighty building enterprises are those in whom He has done everything." The moment we look at something we have done, is the moment it is no longer a part of what God is doing. "The only men and women He will use in His building enterprises are those who love Him personally, passionately and devotedly beyond any of the closest ties on earth. The conditions are stern, but they are glorious."

We talk much of vision, and goals, and objectives (I've got published articles all about them!) but the spiritual reality is that GOD alone does the aiming, and we are the mere arrow in His bow. Our work is to chose to remain in the bow (our situation) and in the Hands of God (our Master Archer) while the bow is bending. "A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the said says - "I cannot stand any more." God does not heed, He goes on stretching till his purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God's hands."

Our aim ought not be ministry, but fellowship with God, and HE will take care of the aiming for us. "Shipwreck occurs where there is not that mental poise which comes from being established on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the heroic effort of your life; you fling yourself in reckless confidence in God."

In the midst of ministry, it is extremely difficult to keep our aim and focus on God, because so much of what we are doing, if not everything, is ABOUT God and His work! Being in the midst of ministry is the most dangerous place to be spiritually, because it is nearly impossible to see when our focus gets off God and instead gets onto His work. "When once we lose sight of God, we begin to be reckless, we cast off certain restrainsts, we cast off praying, we cast off the vision of God in little things, and begin to act on our own initiative."

If you are in the midst of ministry, STOP for a moment. PAUSE. Set it all aside - and check your walk with God. Nothing you are doing for God matters, if you are not in close fellowship with Him. It won't matter for anything, and it can cost you the very things you are striving to maintain. "The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we take this view, life becomes one great romance, a glorious opportuity for seeing marvelous things all the time. God is discipllinging us into this central place of power."

Are you building a ministry? Or building our fellowship and relationship with God? THAT is the only building that will last, and the one that will build a stronger and longer lasting ministry anyway. So focus your aim and energy on God, not ministry, and the ministry will take care of itself.

Italics are quotes for Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

Soaring with Turkeys

2007-04-21T09:30:00.000-07:00

I hope you have experienced those "high places" with God. Those "mountain top" experiences where He was so real you could feel his presense and knew without a doubt that He was there and that everything you believed about Him really was true and right and everything else comes into perspective. (If you haven't, I hope you will seek Him until you have!) But I'm sure everyone has had the other experience... you know, the ones we don't like to admit. When we doubt. When we question. When we don't believe. When we fail. When life feels void of God. When we feel abandoned by God, or at least forgotten. When we are weak. When it is a "normal" day. A day where we are confronted with our humanness and weakness and just how unworthy of God we truly are. No, I'm not feeling that way today - I'm not depressed or moping - but I am learning to walk with God in the normal days, and am done wishing every day could be a mountain top day. God loves to give us mountain top experiences - even Jesus took three disciples to give them one! But He did not save us to give us mountain tops, He saved us to give us daily life with Him!

We were saved to walk with God everyday, whether to a peak, or valley, or just in the plains of life. We are so busy telling God where we would like to go. We want excitement! We want adventure! We want to matter and make a difference! But we are not ready for an obscure day. We want today to somehow stand out above the rest of our normal days. We are not ready to just walk with Him today, as boring or as insignificant as today may appear. Readiness for God means that we are ready to do the tiniest thing or the great big thing, it makes no difference. We have no choice in what we want to do, whatever God's program may be we are there, ready.

What are your plans for today? They are the same every day: Walk with God. He can put us where He likes, in pleasant duties or in mean duties. When we walk with God we are fulfilling His purpose for us, even if we see nothing that amounts to "ministry" or "service." And it is only then that He can truly use us, for it is only then that we are truly His. Be ready for the sudden surprise visits of God. A ready person never needs to get ready.

We look for the big things - both in the good (service) and in the bad (sin) - but God looks only at the heart of His follower. You have gone through the big crisis, now be alert over the least things. Temptation is not to sin, it is to walk without God. Sin is simply the outcome of not walking with God. Were we walking with God, the sin would not occur. It is when walking alone, even in service, that we fail. Do not forecast where the temptation will come, if is the least likely thing that is the peril. It is PRECISELY where you think you can't fail that you will. The Bible characters fell on the their strong points, never on their weak ones. What we are aware of or on guard against will not be our downfall. It will be where we do not think we need to guard. You have remained true to God under great intense trials, now beware of the undercurrent. It is what we do not think we need to watch that we MUST watch. For where we neglect out of ignorant confidence the Enemy has free reign.

I want to soar like Eagles, but I am content to waddle like a Turkey, no great heights required to feel close to God, just me and God everyday, for whatever He has for today. That is why Proverbs 16:9 is so important, "In his heart a man makes his plans, but the Lord will direct his steps."

Are you soaring with eagles? I'm happy for you. But if you are stuck on the ground walking with turkeys, hey, it's ok to be a turkey if that's where God wants you. I know I'm just one big turkey, but that's ok with me because that's ok with God.

Everything in italics is a direct quote from my mentor Oswald Chambers.

God is Not Impressed

2007-03-29T08:03:00.000-07:00

Just a few thoughtful quotes from Oswald Chambers from the past week:

"Christian work may be a means of evading the soul's concentration on Jesus Christ."

"It is not service that matters, but intense spiritual reality, expecting Jesus Christ at every turn."

Busy? Oh boy! Was I busy!

I was one who made serving Christ everything - instead of knowing Christ. Having been in some form of "ministry" since age 10, it was so close to me constantly I never got a chance to step back and take a broader look at my life and what mattered. I confused growth in ministry with growth in characer. Now that I am away from ministry, I have discovered God like I could never experience when I was in the middle of the cloud of ministry dust I was stirring up in the middle of my frantic hurried hurricane of service for God.

"Growth in grace is measured not by the fact that you have not gone back, but that yo have an insight into where you are spiritually; you have heard God say, "Come up higher," not to you personally, but to the insight of your character."

I lived to please people and impress God. People may have been pleased for awhile, but God was not impressed.

While I may have impressed some people along the way with my ministry, that was never my intent. But I did want to impress God and make Him glad I was on His team. When people used to ask me how I did "so much," I am embarrassed now to say that I had answers. I even had a workshop I would teach on how to organize and manage a multi-faceted ministry. I dicussed putting "First Things First," delegating, team building, choosing the best, etc. All things I sincerely tried to do. I would tell the story (familiar to time managment junkies) of the clear container and the rocks... you'd better put the big rocks (important things) in first, or there won't be time for the small rocks, gravel, sand and water. So I DID put the big things in first, I just had so many of them, and they were so perfectly cubed in shape, that once in there was nearly no room for ANY gravel or sand or water... so I had the "big things" only, and ended up missing the Biggest Thing - intimacy with God and Family. And the container finally broke.

Now there is only one Person I aim to please - and a close second, my wife. HE must be #1, but not to impress, but to please, and He isn't pleased by work or service or ministry, He is pleased when I am in relationship to Him.

Others? Paul said to do whatever you can, as far as it depends on you, to live in peace with everyone, but there is a limit in what is possible. In the end, keep your focus on Jesus. Oswald warns, "Trust no one, not even the finest saint who ever walked this earth, ignore him, if he hinders your sight of Jesus Christ."

But have grace, mercy, gentleness and forgiveness. Give that which you wish to recieve, and even if you don't receive it, it does not matter. God has given it generously.

Seek Jesus today. Close the calendar, put the computer to sleep, and seek God. He's closer than you may think! Then serve Him with joy, and whistle while you work. (or play your iPod if you can't whistle!)

Encouragement Via Old Calendars

2007-03-25T19:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes God sends you just what you need from a surprising source. Today my wife and I were cleaning out a storage closet in our basement and among the lost, forgotten, sentimental, outdated, and maybe-we'll-need-thing-someday stuff, was an old Mary Engelbreit calendar. Granted, Mary Engelbreit stuff is "chick stuff," but the sayings on her paintings are often quite simple and deep at the same time. I miss the Mary Engelbreit store at Woodfield Mall because I was always able to find a present for my wife for any occasion. Shopping for her takes more effort now, I used to just buy anything in that store and I was a success!

Anyway, my wife was holding on to several old Mary Engelbreit calendars with the idea of framing some of the artwork someday, but in our frenzy of "if in doubt, throw it out" cleaning today, she finally decided to part with these old calendars. Much to her surprise, on their way to the garbage can, it was ME who got hooked on them, and even got teared up over one of them. So, like the sap that I am, I am now saving the calendar, and have scanned my three favorites to post here, hopefully to encourage you as well:

As Paul said, "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:13-14

It is often said not to let success go to your head, but it is equally important not to let failure go to your heart. God still loves you and He will still stand by you, even when others won't. The most important opinion, and the only one you should concern yourself with, is God's opinion of you. If God is for you, and you are walking with God, nothing else matters. Be bold and stand tall.

As Jahaziel son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattaniah said, "You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you... Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you." (2 Chronicles 20:17)

But then, this was my favorite:

I concern myself often with a great many things, and worry about the opinions and thoughts of others toward me, but there is one certain little person in my life, and he thinks I'm ok, and that makes me ok with me too. He is my legacy. Not anything I do in service for God.

Me and My Buddy.

NO MORE Making Time for Family

2007-03-18T00:02:00.000-07:00

I've made a decision, and by God's grace and power, I'm sticking to it. Are you ready?

Here it is:

Never again am I going to make time for my family!

That's right. I am DONE making time for my family. No more. Never Again. I Quit. I've spent over ten years making time for my wife, and then when I became a dad I started making time for my son too. And I was totally wrong to do so! I have learned my lesson, and have made a personal committment to never ever again make time for either of them.

Have I lost my mind? No, quite to the contrary - I have finally found it! While I have always claimed to put family first - my proof was in all the time I "made" for them. The days off, the dates, the dinners, the vacations, the coming home for a meal, the night time feedings and play time on the floor... all the things I took a break from ministry to do. What?!?!? Did you just hear the insanity in that last sentence?! The "break from ministry" I took to "make" time for my family? I'm ashamed to admit it, but I don't think I am alone, so I am taking the risk of being honest and hoping I am not alone in my former illness. I suspect there are many others that still have it, and are as blind to the symptoms as I was. The illness is called Ministryitis, or more accurately diagnosed, it is closer to Significancia. It is a condition where one finds their significance primarily in their service to God and therefore lives to serve God from the moment they arise in the morning until the time they collapse into their bed exhausted at night. They are serving God with passion, and energy, and creativity, and zeal, and sincerity, and with every good intention to please God and lead others to Him... but they fail to see that God called them FIRST to simply BE a child of His, and secondly to BE a husband, or wife, or parent to the children in their home. There ought not be ANY "carving out of time for family." Family IS your life. Ministry is just something you do for God. Don't ever let it become your life. Or the results can be catostrophic. The greatest sigfificance you can have in God's eyes is by being faithful to the primary relationships He has given you.... your family.

Therefore my new commitment is this:

Never again am I going to make time for my family,
I will instead make time for ministry.

and then I will go home to where my life truly rests. Live for God, Love your Family, and if time permits, make some time for ministry too!

Friends Are the Ones Around When it Rains

2007-03-14T08:38:00.001-07:00

Friends Are the Ones Around When it Rains

In high school we got sick of the M. Smith song, "Friends are friends forever." Real life teaches you it isn't true. Those you thought were friends for years can forget you and even turn on you if you don't live up to their expectations. And it hurts.

I used to use the teaching tool: A true friend C.A.R.E.S. when teaching kids:

C = challenges you to be a better person
A = accepts you just the way you are, they don't reject you when you mess up
R = respects you, they don't do things to hurt or damage you, they don't 'get even'
E = encourages you - they are there when you need them most
S = sticks with you, no matter what

A genuine friend who was in town this week said something that I wanted to post here:

"A friend is someone who runs in
when everyone else is running out."

I just wanted to say thank you to those who have been a genuine friend to me in the past several months... there have been many, and often not the ones I would have expected. God has known just who to send along at just the right moment. Thank you.

I also want to say I'm sorry to those who I have not been a good friend to; and there are many. I was a very fast-moving, on-the-go, things-to-do, places-to-go, ministry-to-get-to guy who had many friends... but few deep friendships. I have been discovering so much about friendships and what it means, and what it takes, to develop the ones that really count. It really doesn't matter how many people "like" you - what we need are people who love us... unconditionally. In what I thought was "ministry zeal" I blew right past many potential friends. I'm sorry.

Second to last, I want to say, if you were a friend who has been out of touch for awhile, perhaps since I left my church, I miss you. Don't assume there are people swarming around my family in love and support - there isn't - and don't assume I'm off onto my "new life" and don't miss or need you, I do. It is very hard to leave behind eight years of fun, and friendships and fellowship and simply "move on." Part of life is moving on, but I would like friends to be friends forever. God has been so gracious and has shown my family his mercies and grace in many ways in the past months... but we are really missing the friendships that were a part of our daily life. We miss you.

Lastly, and finally, I want to say if you ever find yourself in a place in life, or situation, or struggle or temptation or trial or time where you think there is no one you can turn to or tell - I know that feeling - I've lived there, and I stayed there for tooooo long, it' isn't true. You have a friend. Of course, there is Jesus! But there is someone else - you just need the courage to take that step of faith and turn to a friend and trust them. Yes, there is a chance the friendship will disappoint you, the trust may not be mutual, there is a good chance they may judge you, or reject you, or cast you off, BUT you will still have done the right thing - for you will find yourself on the path of resolution or restoration or refinement by getting your sturuggle out from being hidden in your heart, and into the open where it can be dealt with.

There is the age-old saying that I've taught kids many times, "If you want good friends, you must BE a good friend." I am discovering just how painfully true this really is. I find myself missing and wanting good friends, and discovering just now much I failed as a friend to others. Something I am working to change in my new and continuing friendships.

I invite you... join me in the effort of developing genuine deep friendships, the type that take time and trust. There will come a time when you will need them, and more importantly, they will need you. I hope no one who reads this will ever find themselves in a place where they desperately need genuine friends, and find they aren't there.

If you do, you can always call me, whoever you are. I am committed with a new zeal to be the type of friend I wished I had had more of this past year.

The Love of God is Overwhelming

2007-03-08T22:40:00.000-08:00

Today I was amazed that my devotional reading was perfectly exactly what I needed today. Then, as I shared it with my wife, she noticed that I was actually off by a day... I'm not sure when I missed a day and as I expressed my disappointment that I "goofed" somehow and got off in my Oswald Chambers Journal, my wife pointed out, that if today's message was exactly what I needed, then God actually had me get off somehow so that I would "accidently" read today's today, instead of when I supposed to. All that to say, even in our mundane mistakes, God is at work.

Today was a difficult day in my private journey as a pilgrim of Christ. I'll leave it at that as far as details go, but enough to say, of all the difficult days I may experience in life, today will always be one of the most difficult I ever had to face. And yet God's peace was evident and his mercy flowed freely and his grace was abundant.

My passage today (accidently) was "in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." (Romans 8:37)

I'd like to share what Oswalk Chambers wrote "today" since I underlined the entire thing anyway in my journal...

Paul is speaking of the things that might seem likely to separate or wedge in between the saint and the love of God; but the remarkable thing is that nothing can wedge between the love of God and the saint. These things can and do come in between devotional exercises of the soul and God and separate individual life from God; but none of them is able to wedge in between the love of God and the soul of the saint. The bedrock of our Christian faith is the unmerited, fathomless marvel of the love of God exhibited on the Cross of Calvary, a love we never can and never shall merit. Paul says this is the reason we are more than conquerors in all these things, super-victors, with a joy we would not have but for the very things which look as if they are going to overwelm us. The surf that distresses the ordinary swimmer produces in the surf-rider the super-joy of going clean through it. Apply that to our own circumstances, these very things - tribulation, distress, persecution, produce in us the super-joy; they are not things to fight. We are more than conquerors through Him in all these things, not in spite of them, but in the midst of them. The saint never knows the joy of the Lord in spite of tribulation, but because of it - 'I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation,' says Paul. Undaunted radiance is not built on anything passing, but on the love of God that nothing can alter. The experiences of life, terrible or monotonous, are impotent to touch the love of God, which is in Christ our Lord.

I wrote in the margin, "Be overwhelmed by nothing other than the love of God."

Life is precious and all too short. And we so easily miss what matters most, and as I have learned this past year, one of the biggest threats to our spiritual life is not sin, but ministry. Ministry that overruns our intimacy with God and family. Hidden behind a passion for ministry can be a desire to please God, impress God, and matter to God... to somehow be worthy of his love, his salvation, and the life and ministry He has blessed us with. Sure, salvation was free, but I want to be worthy of it after the fact, since I know just how unworthy I truly am. And so we set out with DO lots for God, when all he wants, all He died for, was US, not anything we can do for Him. It doesn't mean that our ministry isn't sincere, effective, or fruitful, it is just that it is too much and overshadows what is more important. Sure, we try to "make time for God" and "make time for family" - but ministry is what drives us from morning to night. It ought to be that the most important thing daily is our relationship with God and our family, and then we "make time" for service to God. I know I had it backwards, and I doubt I am alone in that, and the result was catastrophic when I finally reached a breaking point.

Here is what I was supposed to read today... and it was fitting as well:

No one is ever united with Jesus Christ until he is willing to relinquish, not sin only, but his whole way of looking at things. To be born from above of the Spirit of God means that we must let go before we lay hold, and in the first stages it is the relinquishing of all pretense. What our Lord wants us to present to Him is not goodness, nor honesty, nor endeavour (ministry service).... He wants us to relinquish all pretense of being anyting, all claim of being worthy of God's consideration. Am I willing to relinquish everything and to be identified only with the death of Jesus Chirst?

It is easy to focus on sin in our world, and the more sensational the sin, the better! But it is much harder to focus on the ill-effects of hyper-achieving ministry, and how ministry has a habit of breaking people who are blind to the effect ministry can have when it is out of balance. There is a reason that the average length of a minister's career is only a few years... ministry, as "Godly" as it is, can be a destroyer of saints who are blindsided by the effects of over zealous ministry, despite how sincerely motivated it may be. We are serving God! People are going to hell! There is no time for anything else... including our intimate walk with God. We can be so busy serving God, that too often sincere saints don't even see the eroding effect on their spiritual life and family life.

One of the many amazing things I have learned in the past year as I have slowed waaaaaay down is that the world we live in is much more broken then I ever knew. Oh, I knew that those without Christ live broken and huring lives as a result of their sin, and that compelled me and motivated me to do all that I could to reach them with the Gospel, and I focused on kids because if we can reach them before it is too late, we can save them so much pain and agony... what I was blind to was how much pain and hurt and brokeness exists in the body of Christ. I was moving too fast in the ministry express lane to notice. But as I have met with friends and people over the past year to share with them my own brokeness and the lessons I am learning, so many open up to me and share their own brokeness, things they would have never told me before... because I was one of the naive who was not aware of the way things truly are. My transparency has opened up a whole new world where Christ is the helper, healer, and restorer of so many brothers and sisters in Christ who I assumed had it all together, as they did of me. I have learned that the Church is a place where people are scared to be open and honest about real life struggles, because real life is too shocking for the Church to handle and usually only judgement results or rejection, instead of grace and acceptance. A professional counselor told me recently that he believes the center of grace has moved from the pastor's office to the counselors office because too many pastors today can't handle the realities of sin and brokeness, and in response they often judge or cast away those they should be helping. They are shocked by sin, though they shouldn't be. So people turn to counselors, the only ones they can truly trust because they are legally bound to be confidential and trust worthy. How sad. I am grateful we have counselors, and that there is a safe place available for those who recognize they need help... but for an hourly fee? What happened to the body of Christ?

Let me encourage you to open your eyes to the world around you. Seek genuine friendships where you can be real and open about your own struggles, and be one of the rare few who is open to listen, accept, forgive and offer grace and mercy to the hurting around you. Odds are, there are some people in your life you are assuming are "fine" when they are carrying deep personal pain and hurt and believe there is no one who cares or that they can trust to talk to or who will truly walk with them. The Church talks much about Christ being a friend to sinners, but we are to be friends of sinners too. Not just pass the buck to Jesus. We are to BE Jesus to the hurting around us, and its not just our unsaved neighbors who are hurting and struggling, it is the people in the pews around us on Sunday too. In fact, they are probably hurting more, because they are sincerely trying to live for God, but failing or faultering.

I used to look for those who could be examples to me... who had it together and who I could model my life after... and I hoped I too could be that for others... now I'd rather fellowship with other failures... those who can see their short-comings and understand that only through Christ can we have any hope of not only being conquerors, but Praise God, we can be MORE than conquerors through Christ who loves us with an overwhelming love.

If you are overwhelmed... be overwhelmed instead by God's love for you.
If you are not... (that's ok) open your eyes, someone nearby you is, and probably not who you expect. Be an encourager for them! Be a real friend who is ok with them being real. When your turn comes (and Jesus promised tribulation!) you will have a friend in return.

If you are a failure.. welcome to the club! The Church isn't supposed to be a country club for those who are doing "OK" and living in victory, it supposed to be a place where sinners are welcome. And you and I are invited!

The defeated fisherman

2007-03-03T22:27:00.000-08:00

It must have been a dark and depressing time in his life. He had dishonored Christ. He had disappointed himself and others. His world had fallen apart and his ministry was now gone. There was nothing left, he thought, so he simply went back to fishing. He thought he was done, but God thought He had only begun.

His name was Peter, and he is my hero.

He was the one who had responded to Jesus' prophesy of his own death, by boldly declaring, "Even if everyone else is ashamed of you when things fall to pieces, I won't be!" and even after Jesus then predicted his sin, Peter blurted out, "Even if I have to die with you I will never deny you." (Mark 14, the Message)

As Gordon MacDonald writes in Rebuilding Your Broken World, "you are not most likely to fall where you think you are weakest, but where you think you are strongest."

Peter's weakness was not temptation, or fear of consequences... these ultimately are not enough to hold off sin... it was a lack of ability to keep with Jesus in prayer and fellowship. In the same chapter where he makes these bold claims of loyalty to Jesus, in fact, only verses later in Mark 14 (perhaps for a reason), we find Jesus rebuing a sleeping Peter:

"Simon, you went to sleep on me? Can't you stick it out with me a single hour? Stay alert, be in prayer, so you don't enter the danger zone without even knowing it. Don't be naive. Part of you is eager, ready for anything in God; but another part is as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire." (The Message)

Peter was all talk, and all good intentions, and often the most zealous in following Jesus (he's the only one who boldly left the boat and walked on water for a bit! Sure, he sank when his faith wavored, but everyone else just watched from the boat. At least his faith got him wet!)

But he didn't have the abiding prayerful, watchful relationship which can stand the difficult times. And he fell. He denied Christ when it mattered most - three times in fact. There are many ways we can fall, but denying Christ in His darkest hour has got to top of the list.

And what I find so interesting about Peter is that there is no record of him repenting, confessing, or going through any process to be 'restored' - he simply left thinking it was over, but God pursued him and not only restored him, but established His Church on him. Wow. Like David and Paul who had fallen hard and far, even committing murder, God said, "there is a man I can use, for his heart is mine" and put them back to work.

Peter was decieved about himself, as we often are. As I know I have been. Oswald Chambers writes, "Unless we get hurt right out of every deeption about ourselves, the word of God is not having its way with us. The word of God hurts like no sin can ever hurt, because sin blunts feeling. The question of the Lord intensifies feeling until to be hurt by Jesus is the most exquisite hurt conceivable."

Have you ever been hurt by Jesus? Hurt in the sense that He shows you and teaches you things about yourself that no one else ever could? Hurt that, as King David realized, only against Him have you sinned? Hurt realizing that all around you that hurts is nothing compared to the separation our sin causes between us and Him? The hurt when Jesus shows you clearly, not only what you have done, but also that he still loves you and wants you back? The hurt when He says, "I know, but will you follow me anyway?" The hurt when He still says, "Do you love me?" and you thought that your love was so obvious, how could He have to ask?!?

Oswald writes, "There is no possibility of being sentimental with the Lord's question; you cannot say nice things when the Lord speaks directly to you, the hurt is too terrific.... but the point of the hurt is the great part of revelation."

Jesus knows you better than anyone, and He still loves you and still wants you back.

In John 21 we find the story of Peter's restoration, first to relationship to Jesus, and then to ministry. Three times Jesus asks Peter if he loves him. On the third question, Peter is crushed. But he starts to awake to what is happening. As Oswald describes in another place, "Peter was awakening to the fact that in the real center of his personal life he was devoted to Jesus, and he began to see what the patient questioning meant. There was not the slightest of delusion left in Peter's mind, he never could be deluded again. There was no room for passionate utterance (as before), no room for exhilaration or sentiment. It was a revelation to him to realize how much he did love the Lord, and with amazement he said, 'Lord, thou knowest all things.' Peter began to see how much he did love Jesus, but he did not say, 'Look at this or that to confirm it.' "

Peter used to be about proving his love and devotion to Christ. I, too, once lived that way. But Peter and I have learned the hard way, that there is no need to "prove" ourselves or our devotion to Jesus (or to anyone else for that matter). No amount of service can convince Him, it is silly and obsurd to even try. Jesus knows our heart - and our heart is ALL HE WANTS.

In conclusion, Oswald writes, "Rarely, but probably at least once in life, He will get us into a corner where He will hurt us with His undeviating questions, and we will realize that we do love Him far more deeply than any profession can ever show."

Please, as one who has been in that corner, and is still sitting at the fire having breakfast with Jesus, let me be another voice urging you to give up trying to demonstrate your love or dedication or committment to Christ or his "Cause," and forget about whether you get everything on your "to do" lists done. Give up trying to impress Him, and simply love Jesus.

And Jesus will finally be pleased.

God, do NOT bless my efforts!

2007-02-28T22:02:00.000-08:00

How many times have we prayed and asked God to bless our efforts... well, no more!

We want God to look down from heaven, see what wonderful things we are doing for Him, and to bless what we are doing.

Today I was challenged to reconsider this common practise by my written mentor, Oswald Chambers, when he wrote: "Many a Christian worker has left Jesus Christ alone and gone into work from a sense of duty or from a sense of need arising out of his own particular dicernment."

This does not necessarily mean we are "sinning," but that WE are generating the spiritual activity ourselves. Though as we get busy and drift from God, sin certainly can result! Oswald referring to our Christian activity, "There is no sin in it, and no punishment attached to it; but when the soul realizes how he has hindered his understanding of Jesus Christ, and produced for himself perplexities and sorrows and difficulties, it is with shame and contrition he has to come back."

It sounded so spiritual, the old saying I latched onto as a kid: "God can't move a parked car." But in the end, this attitude of fast-paced service, diguised as a sense of urgency for the lost, is a deadly and unbiblical and has led many a sincere Christian worker to get going so fast and furious in their flurry of Christian work that they end up crashing due to a blind spot around a corner on the super service highway of spiritual achievement. What good is all your "work" if it takes you away from the very one you are supposedly serving so passionately?!? I know that I have been driven since a very young age to be "Busy for God" - and yet I am discovering that God is not in as big a hurry as I am.

God has been at work throughout the ages, and is quite capable of accomplishing His goals and purposes without me being all stressed out. I get so worked up over all that "needs to get done" when God says, "It's all done already, just walk with Me."

Mark chapter eleven, in the Message, records Jesus saying, "Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you." When we are stressed, we are ahead of God. And He doesn't hurry to catch up to us, I believe He often stops, and waits for us to notice we are alone, and to come back to Him, and then He will continue on with us at His pace. Jesus continued, (in the Message) "That's why I urge you to pray for absolutely everyting, ranging from small to large. Include everything as you embrace this God-life, and you'll get God's everything."

Oswald writes, "...get into the habit of steadily referring everything back to Him; instead of this we make our common-sense decisions and ask God to bless them."

My challenge to myself first and foremost is this: Do not ask God to bless anything. If it is of God, it is already blessed! To ask God to bless it, is to hint that it may not be of Him to start with, even if it is a good thing.

Think about it, if God has asked you to do a thing, how silly to ask Him to also bless it! It may border on an insult to Him. And if He hasn't asked you to do it, why would you want His blessing on it?

Instead, ask God what He would have you do, and then pray for the courage and strength and persistance to see it through despite any obstacles or resistance you may encounter as you obey. Now there is a prayer God can answer!

A prayer of grace

2007-02-25T08:05:00.000-08:00

A kind and gracious friend gave me this prayer yesterday and it really ministered to me, so I am posting it here. It really expressed the difference between the forgiveness of men and that of God who forgives in actions not merely in words....

Thank You, my loving and sovereign God, that my failures and mistakes are part of the "all things" You work together for good... as well as my tensions and stresses, my hostile and anxious feelings, my regrets, my trips into shame and self-blame - and the specific things that trigger them.

I praise you that "all things," including these, can contribute to my spiritual growth and my experience of You... When my heart is overwhelmed, I'm more aware of my need to cry to You... to take refuge in You.. to rely on You.

I rejoice that these things keep reminding me to depend on You with all my heart... that they prompt me to trust in Your love, Your forgiveness, Your power, Your sufficiency, Your ability to overrule, and Your transforming presence within me.

Thank you for the ways that my shortcomings and failures bring pressure on me to open myself to You more fully, and the way they let You show me deep and hidden needs: griefs and hurts that I've never poured out before You, that I've never exposed to Your healing touch, and sins that I've never faced and acknowledged. How grateful I am for Your constant cleansing as I confess each sin You make me aware of, and then turn back to You as my Lord.

I praise You that I'm free from condemnation simply because Christ died for me and rose again... that it doesn't depend on how well I live.

I praise You for how You use my sins and failures to humble me, and for how this opens me to the inflow of Your grace - amazing grace, that enables me to hold my head high, not in pride but in humble gratitude for Your undeserved, unchanging love and total cleansing.

- Amen

A Doormat for Jesus?

2007-02-24T10:19:00.000-08:00

We've all felt like a doormat from time to time, and it's not fun. People walking all over you unconcerned for your feelings, hardly noticing you, taking you for granted, etc. But what if God CALLS you to be a Doormat for Him?

Paul said in 2 Corintians 12:15, "So I will very gladly spend for you everything I have and expend myself as well."

Oswald Chambers writes today, "Paul said he knew how to be a "doormat" without resenting it, because the mainspring of hsi life was devotion to Jesus." Just before this he states a painful truth, even for us in ministry, "Many of us are after our own ends, and Jesus Christ cannot help Himself to our lives. If we are abandoned to Jesus, we have no ends of our own to serve."

Can ministry be our own end? If it is stressing us out and wearing us out, it probably is. Jesus said His yoke is easy and His burden is light. If our burden is heavy, we may be tossing extra stuff on our back that He hasn't put there.

We all have our "CAUSES" that we live for, and most always they are worthy and noble and spiritual and godly and GOOD, but consider Oswald's challenge, "The delight of sacrifice is that I lay down my life for my Friend, not fling it away, but deliberately lay my life out for Him and His interests in other people, not for a cause." My cause must only be fellowship with Jesus, and out of that will flow the ministy. I used to think ministry would draw me into fellowship with Jesus, but in reality it drove me away from Him!

My reading in the Message this morning brought it together:

Calling the crowd to join the disciples, he said, "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the drivers seat: I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how.... Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?" (Mark 8)

Set aside the list of "TO DO's" and ask Jesus, what would YOU like me to do today. He may tell you to take a day off. He may tell you to skip e-mail for a day. He may tell you to call or write someone who isn't on your list. He ask you to take a walk and just be with Him for a bit, there is something He wants to show you. He may just want you to pause long enough to feel His unconditional love for you. Then he might say, "Now, get back to work, but never let it be about the work. It's about me."

And when you feel like a doormat, consider these words from Oswald yesterday, "When we realize that Jesus Christ has served us to the end of our meanness, our selfishness, and sin, nothing that we meet with from other can exhaust our determination to serve men for His sake."

Go ahead, walk all over me... I'm walking with Jesus, so it's all good.

Am I a tool for God to use?

2007-02-21T09:26:00.000-08:00

being confident of this, that he who began a good work
in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:6

I have strived to be holy since I was a young boy. I never wanted to disappoint my Savior. So my life's passion was to serve Him and not disgrace Him.

To me, serving God was equal to loving God.

I was wrong.

So wrong.

To me, being holy was equal to loving God.

I was wrong again.

So wrong.

Holiness and Service are RESULTS of loving God, but they do not equal love for God.

Oswald Chambers writes today, "Abandon to God is of more value than personal holiness. (!) Personal holiness focuses the eye on or own whiteness; we are greatly concerned about the way we walk and talk and look, fearful lest we offend* Him. Perfect love casts out all that when once we are abandoned to God. We have to get rid of this notion, "Am I of any use?" and make up our minds that we are not, and we may be near the truth. It is never a qestion of being of use, but of being of value to God Himself. When we are abondoned to God, He works through us all the time."

I did not fear "offending" God, I knew that God loved me, but I was afraid of disappointing Him, and ultimately knew that I am a failure in so many ways, so I worked hard to make up for my short-coming by being of use to Him. If I fail to be the man of God I want to me, at least I could be a contributing player on God's Team! If I had a part in winning the Game, my loses off the field of Ministry would be made up for.

I am no longer concerned with being a tool in the hand of God. I am more interested in being the item He is working on. I've given up being a tool, and instead am letting the tools cut into me and shape me. It hurts... but I welcome it.

and if God uses me in the process somehow, that's up to Him.

but my desire is just to Walk with Him.

whether I "matter" or not to anyone else.

I don't need to be of USE, I just want to BE.

Are You Listening?

2007-02-13T07:10:00.000-08:00

For those of you who know me personally, you might know that I am deaf in my left ear. Having 50% of the hearing capacity of others is the least of my troubles with this handicap. (In fact, is a blessing in children's ministry as the kids are only 50% as loud to me as they are to others in the room!) My biggest struggles are in directional hearing and in getting my attention in the first place.

God gave most people two ears in order for the brain to calculate the direction of the source of sound, and the shape of the ears warps the sound so that a sound directly behind is distinguished from a sound directly ahead, of which sound waves enter the brain at the exact same moment. All other sounds arrive separately to the brain, where you smart noggin' reassembles the sound into one while determining the direction of the source. Sounds great! But for me, I hear, but I have no idea where the sound is coming from. Yup, no stereo for me. The concept is like colors to a blind person. I can explain it, but have never truly experienced it. It also means when I hear things (such as a siren when driving!) I have to look around and locate the source visually. (FYI, contray to making me a dangerous person to ride with, studies have shown that people who are deaf in one ear are 80% less likely to get in an accident as they are much more observant drivers and actually use their mirrors constantly while driving.) Oh, the stories I can tell about being deaf in one ear, such as lunchtime in grade school where kids would call my name and duck to watch me looking all over the room for who said my name, oblivious to which direction to look.

But the other downside of being deaf, is that you learn to filter out all unwanted noise and focus only on the sound you need, meaning that often in my life I've been confronted for ignoring people, or not returning a "hello" or being too wrapped up in myself to hear others. Perhaps you've seen the classic button, "I'm not deaf, I'm ignoring you?" Well, I'v ealways wanted to make one that says, "I'm not ignoring you, I'm deaf!" The reality is, I don't hear much unless I am focused on it, but as my parents learned (and my wife can attest) if I am focused, I can hear even whispers about me from the other room! (My poor parents thought they could discuss Christmas presents safely in another room.) :)

So how do I get around this? I have to tell people that if they want to talk to me and have me actually listening, they need to use my NAME first. Instead of, "Can you go get such and such, Karl" (to which I turn and say, "Yes?" and am confronted with their groan) they need to say, "Karl, can you go get such and such" and I will happily go get them such and such and a little of the other as well.

My point? (yes, there is always a point!)

I have discovered that I am spiritually deaf in one of my spiritual ears as well. And I see the results in the same two ways. First of all, hearing God's voice is a foreign concept to me - like colors to a blind man - I am told that God speaks to me, but I am learning what that means. Physically, to get a taste of stereo, I have to turn my head around to get a taste of the sounds coming from different places. I do have a Bose Surround Sound System in my basement theater, but I bought it for the volume, and so others who watch movies with me could enjoy the stereo. Spiritually, I tend to focus on volume too... even as I lead others to enjoy God's stereo. I want God to tell me many great things, to give me huge spiritual insights, to 'crank up' the volume of my spiritual life... but I am learning that I must develop the skill of hearing his still small voice, the subtle suggestions he wants to make throughout the day to me.

The other effect of my spiritual deafness is focus. I get so focused on all that I need to do, that I don't hear God speaking to me. He too, has to get my attention somehow... and oh, does He know how to do that! But ah, how much better it is when I give Him my attention first!

Little Samual said, "Speak, Lord, for your servant listens," (I Samuel 3:10) but only after God had to call him several times! I too have missed his voice many times. Not because I was sinking in the murkiness of sin, but because I was so busy serving him, trying to impress him with my work, that I rarely STOPPED to LISTEN to Him, and to say, "Speak, Lord, for your servant listens."

Oswald Chambers writes today, "The destiny of my spiritual life is such identification with Jesus Christ that I always hear God, and I know that God always hears me (John 11:41).
If I am united with Jesus Christ, I hear God, by the devotion of hearing all the time." Oh, how i want that! To not to spiritually deaf in one ear! He continues, "What hinders me from hearing is that I am taken up with other things..... I am devotyed to things, to service, to convictions, and God may say what He likes, but I do not hear him."

Wow. So devoted to GOOD things that I miss hearing what GOD wants to say to me? But I have lots of memories of times God spoke to me! I have had great times of prayer, and personal spiritual retreats where God spoke clearly to me, but Oswald nailed me with this final thought, "If I have not cultivated this devotion of hearing, I can only hear God's voice at certain times, at other times I am taken up with things - things which I say I must do, and I become deaf to Him."

Dear God, let me HEAR you today. Not during a profound moment in my quiet time, but throughout the day, let me hear your voice. Open my spiritual ears to your subtle nuggings to speak, call or email that certain person, say that word to those who cross my path, to notice that bit of your magesty in creation, to let that annoying little irritation go, to see that little thing I can do to bless my wife, or show love to my child, to forgive those who hurt me, to release that grudge, to respond with gentleness or kindness, to be honest when my instinct is to make myself look better, to be the hands and voice and feet of Jesus throughout my day. Nothing huge or dramatic may happen other than that at the end of the day, I can say I have walked with You, if only for one day. Then help me do the same tomorrow. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Are You Spiritually Exhausted?

2007-02-09T07:02:00.000-08:00

Oswald Chambers highlight for today...

"Exhaustion means that the vital forces are worn right out. Spiritual exhaustion never comes through sin but only through service, (!), and whether or not you are exhauted will depend upon where you get your supplies."

Many people look at a person's sin and say, "that sin broke them," and miss that the brokenness came before the sin. It is not sin that breaks a person, it is self-powered service that breaks a worker of Jesus, and sin is the result. God desires to contrain us and empower us, but when we get so busy serving Him and neglect HIM we give up his retraining and are left to our own power and devices, which will fail us, be sure of that!

Oswald warns today, "Be careful that you get your supply, or before long you will be utterly exhausted." I am sad proof that a worker for Jesus can go a very long time "holding it all together" with human effort, even if motivated by ministry and a sincere desire to please God, but the longer you rely on your own strength and abilities; the more you find yourself propping up, the harder and further you will fall when you loose your grip.

I envision myself as a man who built a dam and was standing in front of it holding it back, while at the same time adding to the water, even installing hoses that poured more water in, under finally the dam I built and filled finally burst, and took me away in the flow. Now downstream a bit, and the water having subsided some, am looking instead for a natural lake on whose shore I can just enjoy what God has created.

Oswald asks, "Has the way in which you have been serving God betrayed you into exhaustion?"

Later he boldly states, "You have no right to say - 'O Lord, I am so exhasted.' " This doesn't mean you will never be busy or feel tired, in fact, he says, "He saved and sanctified you in order to exhaust you (!). Be exhausted for God, but remember that your supply comes from Him."

If you are exhausted today... take some time TODAY to get with God and refill on Him.

And, if you are concerned with some water that is leaking out of the dam... Let it go. Allow God to bring the water level down to His level. Don't try to hold it back. Don't plug the leaks. God cares more about your ministry than you do, and HE will supply exactly what you need, and what you don't get, you probably didn't need.

I beg you, don't live exhausted. It isn't worth it, for you, or for those who love you.

A Matter of Life and Death

2007-02-08T09:50:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to post here a great article just received from my friend Roger Fields from Kidz Blitz. (I have added the bold)

Christianity is not about good and evil, but about life and death. Jesus did not come to make us good but to make us alive. The difference between a believer and a non-believer is not that the believer does good things and the non-believer does bad things. The prime difference is that the believer is alive and the non-believer is dead. The Bible is explicit about this from the get-go.

Adam and Eve were to eat from the Tree of Life and abstain from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. God wanted them to have life, not merely an ability to distinguish between right and wrong. Adam and Eve thought being smart about good and evil was more important than life from God. They were wrong then and we still make the same mistake today. Adam and Eve died the SAME DAY they ate from the wrong tree, even though they lived physically for many more years. Take a peek at Genesis 2:17.

Consequently, we are not bad people in need of goodness. We are dead people in need of life. Jesus did not come to give us an example. He came to give life. I don’t need an example; I need life. (I was amazed to read this the same day as my last post about WWJD)

I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. (John 10:10 NKJV)

The question is not “what WOULD Jesus do?” The question is “What DID Jesus do?” God didn’t make you good when Christ came into your life. He made you alive.

And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins,
(Ephesians 2:1 NKJV)

Your eternal life does not start when you get to Heaven. It starts when you receive Jesus. It then continues at a higher level when you get to Heaven.

And this is the testimony: that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. (1 John 5:11 NKJV)

If you have the Son of God you already have life. If you do not have the Son of God you do not have life. That means you are dead.

He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. (1 John 5:12 NKJV)

Didn’t God write the Bible to help us know right from wrong? Not primarily. He wrote the Bible to help us know how we can be certain that we have eternal life.

These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life, (1 John 5:13 NKJV)

That’s why the Great White Throne judgment of Revelation 21 includes two groups of people: those whose names are in the Book of Life and those whose names are not in the Book of Life. Those not in the Book of Life will be judged by their works. Hint: nobody does well before God if they have to make it to Heaven based on doing good and avoiding evil. The secret is to get your name in the book, not your works in the books.

And I saw the dead, small and great, standing before God, and books were opened. And another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to their works, by the things which were written in the books. (Revelation 20:12 NKJV)

How can dead people stand? They were physically alive but spiritually dead. They were spiritually dead because they never received Jesus. They were depending on the good they did to earn them entrance to heaven.

And anyone not found written in the Book of Life was cast into the lake of fire. (Revelation 20:15 NKJV)

The “I have done some good things in my life” approach does not work out well. The reason is because there is no life in it. The little secret is that sometimes dead people manage to do good things and alive people manage to do bad things. That is why it is called the “Book of Life” and not the “Book of Good Stuff You Do for God.”

Children’s ministry is more than presenting values that cut between right and wrong. It is about offering, explaining, and illustrating the life that comes from faith in what Jesus did for them through the cross and resurrection.

I am not content with kids merely learning how to be good. I want them to be alive in God. I want them to know they are alive in God. In simple ways as they trek through their day, I want them to experience God’s life within them. And the amazing thing is that when they (and we) experience the energy of being alive in God: some goodness will burst out when least expected.

WWJD? Not so fast...

2007-02-08T06:00:00.000-08:00

W.W.J.D. - We've all heard it before... What Would Jesus Do?

I'd like to challenge the conventional thinking regarding WWJD as someone who has tried to do WWJD and failed many times.

Lets back up a step... the goal of the Christian life is not to do what Jesus would do... it is to become LIKE Jesus (and as a result do what He would do). The process of becomeing like Jesus is called Sanctification.

Oswald Chambers writes, "Are we prepared for what sanctification will cost? It will cost an intense narrowing of all our interests on earth, and an immense broadening of all our interests in God. Sancification means intense concentration on God's point of view."

It is a focus on character not actions. It is a focus on focus not what I DO.

Oswald continues, "Sanctification means being made one with Jesus so that the disposition that ruled Jesus so that the disposition that ruled Him will rule us. Are we prepared for what that will cost? It will cost everything that is not of God in us."

SEE THE DIFFERENCE? It is not what Jesus DID we should be focused on, but the disposition that ruled Him.

Finally, he concludes, "The one and only characteristic of Holy Ghost in a man is a strong family likeness to Jesus Christ, and freedom from everything that is unlike Him."

SEE? It is not about DOING what Jesus would do. The Christian life is more than just trying to "be like" Jesus or "doing" what we think Jesus would do... All that requires human thought and effort and will - (which we will always eventually fail at!) and besides, that is not what Jesus was like or what He did. He just was in fellowship with the Father. Period. All He "did" or "was like" simply flowed out of being in close relationship with the Father. That is all we need!

Not WWJD.... But WAJW
(Walk As Jesus Walked) In fellowship with the Father.

Do do not ask yourself, "What Would Jesus Do?" Instead, activiely and agressively strive to walk in fellowship with God and HE will transform your actions as you walk in relationship with Him. The effort to "do what Jesus would do" fades and instead the effort is only in building the relationship with God. As you walk with Jesus He will take care of your actions.

If any man...

2007-02-03T20:16:00.000-08:00

"If any man..." - these familiar words of Christ are the beginning of His invitation to JOIN HIM... but to join Him in what?

"If any man FOLLOW..." As a young boy I answered the Call of Jesus to follow Him into Service. For me, "If any man follow me" and "If any man serve me" were one and the same.

But they are not.

But didn't he say to follow Him so He could make you a "fisher of men?" Not so fast.

Service for Jesus is NOT my life's end, as I once thought it to be - it is the product or result of following, but it IS not following. Following is fellowship with the one you are following, and in that fellowship comes obedience, and out of that obedience, and only out of that obedience, comes service. Service that does not flow out of fellowship and obedience, may be 'good service' but may not be what He is asking me to do!

Oswald Chambers writes, "Beware of anything that competes with loyalty to Jesus Christ." While I and anyone who may be reading this would certainly agree with that statement, it was the next sentence that nearly fell me out of my chair:

"The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him."

I would have thought that sin, worldiness, and any of a list of vices would be the biggest competitor to devotion to Christ, and so I fought those daily and found comfort in my victories... I never considered that my hyper-insane-drive to SERVE HIM might turn out to be a competitor to devotion and fellowship with Him!

Oswald continues, "The ONE AIM of the call of God is the satisfaction of God, not a call to do something for Him." Again, I would have said my one aim to love God (as evidenced by my service to Him) or sanctification... (becoming more like Him... trying to 'be good') But the purpose of my creation was not to merely love or to be good, it was to discover an intimate relationship with my Creator. Yet, I have been so busy and exhausted serving Him, that I never had time to simply enjoy Him.

Oswald concludes, "Are we being more devoted to service than to Jesus Christ?" I know I was. And it about killed me. Elsewhere, OC writes, "As workers for God, we have to learn to make room for God." It is rradically ironic that our lives can become so full of ministry for God, that God can get crowded out. We try to impress God with all we do for Him, and He is asking only for us. God has shown me, acutely, that he wants nothing I can do for Him. He only wants me. Through that relationship, he will use me for His purposes in the Kingdom, but His first purpose is simply me - to teach me how to walk with Him in daily intimate fellowship, for THAT is what we were saved for in the first place... not that we might get busy serving Him. It was the loss of personal fellowship with our Creator that the Cross fixed, not a need to work. It is so painfully clear now. I finally understand why all I have accomplished I consider now rubbish, to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ.

Jesus never said, "Come, Serve Me." He said, "Come, Follow Me."

A Table of Contents for LIFE!

2006-11-27T22:14:00.000-08:00

Currently I am reading "A Resilient Life" by Gordon MacDonald. The subtitle states, "Winning is a Process, Not a Destination."

The book is the story of young Gordies high school track coach who made his athletes endure grueling workouts and refused to let them quit no matter how discouraged or fatigued they were. As the book jacket describes, he developed a plan for each athlete, then pushed them beyond their limits until they had tapped every ounce of their potential. It was decades later that Gordie realized that his wise coach was actually teaching them how to win in life! He calls the runners in life who are victorious RESILENT runners. To be anything less, is to be a quitter.

I'm only half way into the book and it is having a profoundly encouraging impact on me. Normally, I'd write a summary or review or highlight a meaningful section, but instead, I find simply the table of contents to be a fantastic checklist for life. Perhaps these chapter titles alone, if they do not inspire you to buy the book, may just simply inspire you!

(DO NOT "SCAN" - Read These Slowly and Reflectively, Please!)

RESILIENT PEOPLE ARE COMMITTED TO FINISHING STRONG
Quitting is Not an Option
"Walking" is Unthinkable
Building Resilience is a Daily Pursuit
The Face of Aimlessness
The Face of a Champion

RESILIENT PEOPLE RUN INSPIRED BY A BIG-PICTURE VIEW OF LIFE
Resilient People Have a Sense of Life-Direction
Resilient People Foresee the Great Questions of Life's Passage
Resilient People Cultivate Christian Character
Resilient People Listen for a Call from God
Resilient People Are Confident in Their Giftedness
Resilient People Live Generous Lives

RESILIENT PEOPLE RUN FREE OF THE WEIGHT OF THE PAST
Resilient People Understand the Importance of Repairing the Past
Resilient People Respect the Power of Memory
Resilient People Practice Repentance
Resilient People Are Quick to Forgive
Resilient People Overflow with Gratitude
Resilient People Squueze the Past for All Its Wisdom

RESILIENT PEOPLE TRAIN TO GO THE DISTANCE
Resilient People Prepare Themselves for the "Emergencies" of Life
Resilient People Know Exactly What Has to be Accomplished
Resilient People Keep Themselves Physically Fit
Resilient People Grow Their Minds
Resilient People Harness Their Emotions
Resilient People Trim Their Egos
Resilient People Open Their Hearts to the Presense of God

RESILIENT PEOPLE RUN IN THE COMPANY OF THE "HAPPY FEW"
The Value of Lingering
The Peril of the Solitary Life
How Friendship Works
There are Certain People

As you read those, if you didn't sense the Holy Spirit giving you a few you can work on, I'd check your pulse, you might be dead. I'll keep to myself the ones that convicted me! But this book (and just the table of contents!) are giving me pause and helping me reflect on how I can become a more resilient person. I like the phrase "resilient" - it's close to RE-SILENCE. As my whole life situation radically changed this past summer, I am learning a new "silence" that I've never known before. For me, resilience is beginning with silence in the presense of God, and then moving on from there.

Won't you run with me? Let me run with you toward the finish line!

Working Hard? Or Hardly Working? Or....

2006-11-16T10:35:00.000-08:00

“Working hard for God” is that a good thing? I’m not so sure any more. I’ve been working hard for God since age ten, (when I got my call to children’s ministry.) And I’ve been putting the Energizer Bunny to shame ever since with my non-stop ministry activity. Sacrificing for God has been something I’ve been happy to do – but was God happy with the sacrifices I chose?

I equated activity and busyness with passion for God. I thought the best way to love God was to serve God with every fiber of my being. How wrong I was. Now, I am not saying that we shouldn’t be serving God, or that we shouldn’t give our best effort and energy in that service, but that I have learned tragically that service is NOT what God is looking for primarily. All of the service you give can be good and helpful and godly and benefit the Kingdom, but NOT be what God is asking you to do. Oswald Chambers (my new best friend) writes, “Always guard against self-chosen service for God; self-sacrifice may be a disease.” (!) How can serving God be a disease!? He warns elsewhere of “juggling with yourself” – something I can certainly relate to!

God is not asking for service. He is asking for me. Service should be merely a result or outcome of my walk with God. I tried to get close to God through serving Him – instead of getting close to Him and then allowing Him to use me. The output of my life may have looked very much the same (though I imagine there would have been much less I’d have been doing) – but the point is not the activity or the amount of it, or even the godly motives, it is the source of the activity. Was it God working in and through me, or me working for God in my efforts to know and please Him? Oswald writes that “We have to be so one with God that we do not continually need to ask for guidance.” Huh? Those words shocked me, I am always asking for guidance! But he continues, “If we are born again of the Spirit of God, it is the abortion of piety to ask God to guide us here and there.” (!) I was passionate in my service and in living out my convictions tirelessly* every day. But Oswald writes, “Beware of making a fetish of consistency to your convictions instead of being devoted to God. ‘I shall never do that’ – in all probability you will have to, if you are a saint.” Belief that “I would never” is a dangerous belief indeed! God may have to teach us a drastic lesson. Chambers states that “The one consistency of the saint is not to a principle, but to the Divine life.” Being devoted to the principle of service can mask the shallowness of the Divine life. One close to God will certainly find him or herself serving, BUT it does not work the other way around. The one serving God is in danger of losing that closeness to the very One he or she serves! Chambers warns, “It is easier to be a fanatic than a faithful soul, because there is something amazingly humbling, particularly to our religious conceit, in being loyal to God.”

If God is not looking for service? What then, is He seeking from us? We wants us to simply know Him, love Him, and follow Him. And He wants us to do so whether or not He will ever use us or whether anyone will ever notice us. We want to be noticed by God, and perhaps if others notice us, He will too! Being faithful to God in tough times and challenges certainly gains His favor and notice, doesn’t it? Forgive me for quoting Oswald Chambers again. “It is one thing to go through a crisis grandly, but another thing to go through every day glorifying God when there is no witness, no limelight no one paying the remotest attention to us.” Just me and God, and no one and nothing else. “If you are rightly devoted to the Lord Jesus,” he continues, “you have reached the sublime height where no one ever thinks of noticing you.”

I have lived to serve God and to equip and encourage others in their service to God. And that has its place, and I will continue to do so, but from a different vantage point going forward. Chambers concludes, as will I with these words. “The test of the life of a saint is not success, but faithfulness in human life as it actually is. We will set up success in Christian work as the aim; the aim is to manifest the glory of God in human life, to live the life hid with Christ in God in human conditions.”

Forgive me for sounding like Yoda again, but I think of his words to Luke, “Excitement! Bah. Adventure! Bah. The Jedi seeks not these things.” I find myself hearing instead wise old Oswald, the Christian Master saying, “Service! Bah. Success! Bah. Notice! Bah. The Christian seeks not these things. He seeks only to be in fellowship with His Creator. All else must flow out of that relationship. There is no try. There is only BE.”

I’m sure you’ve done much to serve God this week. But if you have not spent time with HIM first…. Bah! I beg you, get the order correct – fellowship first, service second.

*tirelessly - and odd word. I used to work tirelessly, meaning - "tired all the time." Now I want to work tirelessly, but meaning serving less tired, or even without being tired, because I am only doing what God is asking me to do, and nothing else. If I am tired I am probably doing too much, and more importantly, I am probably doing things God is not asking me to do.

All Things... Really?

2006-11-09T21:08:00.000-08:00

Romans 8:28 promises, "All things work together for good to them that love God."

Ever wondered, "How do I get out of here?!"

Oswald Chambers writes, "The circumstances of a saint's life are ordained of God. In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance. God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you cannot understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands."

Often we conside a 'saint' to mean a 'Super Christian,' but a saint according to the Bible is simply a follower of Christ, even when that follower isn't following closely, a saint off course is still a saint if you hold to eternal security. A saint who stumbles in sin does not cease to be a saint - otherwise our sainthood would be removed and returned countless times a day! So if you are a believing 'saint' follower of Jesus, you share this promise that whatever your circumstances, God will work them together for good!

But what if your circumstances are a result of your own failure? What then? Does this promise no longer apply? Did God condition this promise on perfection? Far from it! he conditioned it only on our love for Him; "to them that love God." Oswald continues, "All your circumstances are in the hand of God, therefore never think it strange concerning the circumstances you are in." Note, it says "all," not "circumstances that aren't your fault."

Even when circumstances are a result of our our failure or sin or neglect, are those circumstances still under God's providence and subject to His promise to work together for good? I can only respond, "YES!" Even my failures can not thwart God's grand purposes - for His purposes are not revolving around events, but around inner transformation, and that often only takes place after failure. So God succeeds either way! His preference would be before, (and we will always agree looking back), but He that began a work in you will carry it on to completion until the Day of Christ Jesus (!) - whether or not you make it easier or harder - His will WILL be done.

So the choice is ours, the easier way (obedience!) or the hard way (through failure), but regardless of which side of failure you are on, TODAY is the day to obey and allow the Spirit of God to do His work in you so that He can get to working it all out for good!

Could Yoda Be Wrong?

2006-11-06T02:38:00.000-08:00

Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering.

One of Yoda's most famous quotes, from the second half of the Star Wars saga, is his ominous warning to the young Anakin, "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suf-fer-ing." (Did you read those words with the appropriate Yoda inflection?)

I certainly don't doubt that fear leads to anger, or that anger leads to hate, and hate certainly leads to suffering. What I'd like to challenge from this sage quote is the assumption that the worst possible state of being is suffering.

The point of Yoda's warning is that we are to avoid fear, anger, and especially hate because they lead to the ultimate evil: suffering. ANYTHING to avoid suffering! Please, do not fear... you may suffer! Please, do not get angry or hate... or you may suffer! And suffering is to be avoided at all costs! According to Yoda, suffering is the worst possible outcome of any situation! It must be, because Yoda concludes his platatude with 'suffering.' He adds not, "Suffering leads to...." for there is nothing worse than suffering. (Insteresting, that despite the Jedi's lack of fear or anger so much suffering still entered their personal worlds as the saga unfolded, could they have been avoiding the wrong outcome?)

In sharp contrast to the wise Yoda, are the words of Jesus Christ, who promises "in this world you will have troubles." (John 16:33) Better translated in the KJV as "Tribulation." I'm not about you, but tribulation sounds a lot like suffering to me! And we don't LIKE to suffer! And Jesus doesn't say we might, we says we WILL! So what do we do when we suffer as Christians? I've often tried to make my response to be, "what is God trying to teach me in this?"

Oswald Chambers, as he often does, shatters even my best efforts to look at things from God's point of view, when he writes, "If you are going to be used by God, He will take you through a multitude of experiences that are not meant for you at all, they are meant to make you useful in his hands, to enable you to understand what transpires in other souls so that you will never be surprised at what you come across." I read that and was floored. It may not be "what is God trying to teach me" - for that is still self-focused (what will I get out of this?) - instead, it may be instead, "what is God doing in me for the sake of others?"

Oswald continues, "God's way is always the way of suffering." What would Yoda have to say to that? We resonate with Yoda's warning because we are motivated to AVOID suffering, but God says that suffering is THE WAY to His purposes - purposes that are much lofter than merely the avoidance of pain.

Don't undestand your suffering? Take heart, Oswald comforts, "We never realize at the time what God is putting us through; we go through it more or less misunderstandingly." So rather than rush to understand, or even get through it, rush to obey.

He suggests when we suffer we ask ourselves, "Is Jesus educating you into a personal intimacy with Himself?" I'm learning that Jesus is ever pressing for only one thing - not greater ministry works - but simply genuine intimacy with Himself. He adds, "This can never be until a personal need arises out of a personal problem."

Without a personal knowable God, Yoda's highest acheivement can only a lack of suffering, and even the great master jedi could not avoid that! Fortunately, we have a higher goal than a comfortable life, we can know our Creator! But that knowledge comes only through suffering, for the simple reason (I hate to admit) that suffering is the only thing that seems to draw us Godward. Without suffering - would we ever truly completely turn to God? Apparently not.

Many things lead to suffering, but suffering leads to intimacy with our Creator, so avoid it not!

Suffering, Avoid Not.
Leads to Intimacy with Creator, It Does!

I'm done working for God!

2006-11-02T19:13:00.000-08:00

I've been a "worker for God" since I got my call to ministry at the age of ten. (read my testimony on kidology.org) And what a super worker I've been! The spiritual dust I've thrown up in the past decades from my flurry of activity for God would have been impressive, if I hadn't choked on the dust and crashed recently. Now I am learning some hard lessons about what I do for God vs. what I allow God to do thorugh me. Then today, John Piper just shatters the whole idea of my working for God at all, when he writes:

"God is a tireless worker. Think of God as a worker in your life. Yes, it is amazing. We are prone to think of ourselves as workers in God's life. But the Bible wants us first to be amaze that God is a worker in our lives."

What?! God a worker in my life? Mr. Piper even goes so far as to say that "he is so eager to work for us that he goes around looking for more work to do for people who will trust him." and sites 2 Chronicles 16:9, "The eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show his might in behalf of those who heart is whole toward him."

What an amazing thought - God not only working in and through us, but for us! And here all this time I thought I could please God by working so hard for him... could I have missed that instead He wanted to do a work in me? That He was eager to do, but I was too busy serving Him to see what He was trying to do to help me? Piper continues, "He is not just waiting for us to get his help; he is seeking ways to give us help. He is doing this with overflowing eagerness."

I've been eagerly seeking to love and serve him with all my heart and soul - and missed that it was He who first promised to serve me, with all HIS heart and soul!

"I will not turn away from doing good to them; and I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. I will rejoice in doing them good... with all my heart and all my soul." (Jeremiah 32:40-41 RSV)

OK, God. I'll stop. I'll stop working for you, and let you do a work in me instead. Then, and only then, any "work" I appear to do will be your work only, through me. I'm done trying to impress you. Let me be impressed by you!

Whether God be Good, or Not!

2006-11-01T06:03:00.000-08:00

We are often told we ought to obey God for He is good and His purposes are for our good. But what if He were not... nor His purposes? Would then have reason not to obey?

Faith is the act by which we choose be believe God both in mental concent to His sovereignty and to our actions to submit to His authority. It is by faith that we accept that God is good and therefore worthy of our love as well as our obedience, but if we link obedience to God's goodness we give ourselves reason to disobey when we find reason to doubt that God is indeed good. If God's goodness is our motivation for obedience, we will disobey when what He chooses to do (or not do) does not seem good to us. Obedience flowing from God's goodness is a trap we lay for ourselves that will ultimately result in sin because our ways are not His ways so He will always disappoint in the short run, and in our disappointment (not understanding His good purposes at the time) we will choose to bring the good into our life we desire in our own way... which is the definition of sin.

Oswald Chambers writes, "We have the idea that God rewards us for our faith... [not so]; faith brings us into right relationship with God and gives God His opportunity. God has frequently to knock the bottom board out of your experience if you are are a saint in order to get you into contact with Himself."

Oh, I've had the board knocked out from under me, and God has certainly gotten my attention - but there is encouragement here as well - he does this to his saints. Not 'saint' in the common use suggesting someone is a super-Christian (then I am far from sainthood!) but instead as the simple title of a soul that belongs to God. It is His saints He knocks down so that they might look up!

Oswald continues, "God wants you to understand that it is a life of faith, not a life of sentimental enjoymnet of His blessings." See? That is the danger of obeying because 'God is Good' - we are then in search of blessings instead of God Himself. He later warns, "Faith by its very nature must be tried." If God were to 'bless' us as we wish - give us all we want and yearn for... would we ever truly know Him or ever truly love Him?

He concludes, "I will remain true to God's character whatever He may do." That is indeed the test! Not whether everything we touch prospers, like Joseph, but whether we remain faithful equally when we feel more like Job, who lost everything. Oswald warns, "Faith in its actual working out has to go thrugh spells of unsyllabled isolation." It is in that isolation that obedience is tested and is transformed into love. For only love can motivate to obey when the object of the obedience does not seem good at the time.

Therefore, I will not obey God because He is good, nor even because He is worthy. (though He certainly is!) But I will obey God because HE IS GOD whether or not He seems good or worthy.

But in the process I will discover that He is worthy of my love, and that is ultimately what God is truly after. Not to obey God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, but to LOVE HIM with all of ourselves, but we show our love through obedience.

In the end, you don't even have to obey God anymore... just love Him, and you will find obedience ceases to be an issue.

i dont want to be a man of prayer

2006-10-31T20:39:00.000-08:00

Do not have as your motive the desire to be known as a praying man. Have no other motive than to know your Father in heaven. It is impossible to conduct your life as a disciple without definite times of secret prayer. God is never impressed by our earnestness. Prayer is not simply getting things from God... prayer is getting into perfect communion with God. (OC*)

Do I want to be a man of prayer? In the past I would have answered, "YES! CERTAINLY YES!" This sounds very pious. But being a "man of prayer" is in some ways the same as being a fan of a sport. You can know about a sport, and talk about it, and wear t-shirts with the name and logo, but if you don't play the sport, what good is all that other stuff? Its one reason I personally don't follow much sports. I'd rather play than watch. When I watch I feel detached and end up just wishing I could go play, even if my play would be much inferior. I'd rather play poorly than merely watch others play well.

The same is true in my spiritual life. I do not want to be a mere spectator. If my goal is to know God, to walk with Him, to live in obedience and victory, THEN I turn to him IN prayer. Prayer is not to be my goal or my objective nor should I feel success in the mere fact that I have prayed. It is the result of prayer that I am after.

Or look at it this way: I've never been a big 'car guy.' Sure, I like my car alot, but I don't know types of cars or engines or models or years or even how they really work. But I LOVE to drive! A car's purpose to me is not to be enjoyed in its humming engine or sleek design or sharp paint job, is to GET ME PLACES. If I merely looked at my car in a museum or drove around and didn't GO ANYWHERE my car would be nothing other then nicely formed metal that sucks money via the gas pump. I do want a reliable car, even a fun car, but I want it for the purpose of going places. The same is also true for me spiritually. If prayer never GETS ME ANYWHERE in my spiritual life, I am nothing but a "prayer guy" washing, waxing, and wearing out my prayer while going nowhere. May that never be me!

God, don't let me be a "man of prayer" - instead, make me a "man of God" - and show me how prayer can take me there! The the point will no longer be the words I say, or the hours (or minutes) I spend in prayer - but where the prayer takes me, what I do when I get there, how many times I return, and how I am changed as a result.

I don't want to be a fan of prayer or an admirer of prayer. Prayer should just be the means, not the goal in my spiritual life.

THAT is why I don't want to be a "man of prayer" any more. I want only to be a man of God. So I will pray.

opening quotations selected from Oswald Chambers

A fruitful infirmity

2006-10-31T09:11:00.000-08:00

In John Piper's book, "A GODWARD LIFE," he writes, "Some teachers write. I cannot speak for others, but for myself it is a simple matter of necessity. I cannot get clear what I think until I try to write it down. It is a fruitful infirmity."

When I read this, I almost yelled out loud, "ME TOO!" It was encouraging to find a writer I admire who is wired to process through writing. I try to resist the urge to write as though I am jumping to teach and not allowing myself to be the only target of the thought-provoking words I read in Scripture and other books, and yet here I find encouragement that writing is part of my process of understanding and owning the lessons I am learning. If I do not write, I am likely not to learn!

Professor Piper continues, "I am no John Calvin or Saint Augustine, but I do say with them, "I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write."